Here's my second installment of my attempt to "catch up" on the Song Challenge!s issued before I was a member.

As a lifelong resident of Pennsylvania, I feel it is my right – nay, my DUTY – to compose a tender ballad telling the plight of this poor, put-upon porcine Pennsylvanian (Charlotte the pig, that is!), set to the tune of one of the Commonwealth's most stirring anthems...


THE PENNSYLVANIA PORKER
(Tune: "The Pennsylvania Polka")

Fly up there, snoozing, your jet trip's begun
(oink, oink, oink, oink) The Pennsylvania Porker
Stick out your butt, block the aisle with your bun
(oink, oink, oink, oink) The Pennsylvania Porker
You started at 13 pounds, now you're a ton
(oink, oink, oink, oink) Nobody can restrain ya
Larger than the Lusitania, you little porker from Pennsylvania

(Porkey change)

While they're flying, ev'rybody's scared of pigly brawn,
Sheet-white, crying... This goes on and on, and still you yawn..
They're so wary, saying you might crap and you might flee
And slop their in-flight beer.
Then your owners start to jeer.
They hiss – and then –
The plane starts to descend.

(Porker time! Wheee... wheee... wheee... wheee...)

Touch-down's confusing, your good nature's done
(squeal, squeal, squeal, squeal) The Pennsylvania Porker
Kick out the cockpit door, turn tail and run
(squeal, squeal, squeal, squeal) The Pennsylvania Porker
You fart and you shoot Number Two like a gun
(squeal, squeal, squeal, squeal) Did no one potty-train ya?
These cross-country flights can drain ya, so says the porker from Pennsylvania.
Ev'ryone on earth is pray'n' ya stay grounded, porker from Pennsylvania!