Two Irishmen meet in a pub in Woodside, Queens -- that's in New York -- and start lamenting over the Troubles (with a cpaital T) back home.

1st Irishman: Aye, have you heard the bad news this morning from Northern Ireland?

2nd Irishman: No. Has there been another shooting?

1st Irishman: No, worse than that.

2nd Irishman: A bombing?

1st Irishman: Worse.

2nd Irishman: Worse than a bombing? What is it, mate? Tell me.

1st Irishman: The Unionists are demanding that the I.R.A. decommission the Wolfe Tones.