Catching up time!

To the tune of "You Rambling Boys Of Pleasure"

You rambling boys of pleasure
Pay heed unto these words I write
I own I am a rover
In rambling I take great delight
I cast my eye on a pretty girl
And wedding vows are soon forgot
But my pigeons have come home to roost
My game is up, now I've been caught

It was on a Friday evening
All in the merry month of May
I chanced upon a pretty maid
As home from work I made my way
We talked a while and walked a mile
Until before her door I stood
"Would you join me for a coffee, sir?"
I said "Would a bear shit in the woods?!"

One thing led to another thing
And soon upstairs we two did trip
She took me to her chamber
And there from her the clothes I stripped
Upon her neck and breasts and lips
Wet kisses then I did bestow
But my love became distracted by
The ringing of the telephone

"Hello? Who's that?" and then her face
Told a story I've often known
"Behold, your wife" she said to me
Proffering the telephone
And I had no excuse to make
Caught in flagrante, knickers down
And so I owned my deed for once
And challenged her to face me down

"I'll call the law" was her reply
"What I am doing is no crime"
"Then what about your felonies
For which you'll do a long, long time
If ever you were brought to book
If the law had once caught up with you
You leave me with no option, love
I do now hat I have to do."

A siren sounded close at hand
A knock came loudly on the door
And I fled from my lover's arms
No time to lift clothes from the floor
And out the window, gingerly
I jutted out my derriere
I never made it to the ground
Arrested I was in mid-air

I wish I was in Belfast town
And my true love along with me
Money to be plenty
And liquour to be flowing free
Instead I'm in the prison cell
And here I languish for a time
Betrayed by my heartless spouse
And paying dearly for my crimes