Contemplating Morticia's experiment above has provided clear evidence that 'Spaw doesn't know much about California...or filberts, either...or the fact that we import our kitchen matches from Texas, who also sell them to people in Ohio to use as rolling pins, cabers for Scots rituals, and replacements for giant redwoods. Like Spaw's own capabilities in this department, giant redwoods in Ohio are either a fantasy or a very old memory....

A