My attempt to combine the two challenges.

It's based on the old reggae number, Police and Thieves by Junior Murvin (as covered by The Clash).

POLICE AND THIEVES
By SENIOR Murvin

Police and thieves in the streets (oh yeah)
Scaring the nation
With their false teeth and constipation

Police and thieves in the street (oh yeah)
Scaring the nation
With their lethal heart condition

From Genesis to Revelation
The older generation will be hear me
Capable of assassination
Hear what I say

All the crimes committed
Every day
Every perpetrator's
Hair turning grey
All the pacemakers
In chests of war officers
Hear what I say

Police and thieves in the streets (oh yeah)
Scaring the nation
With their wheezy inhalation

Police and thieves in the streets (oh yeah)
Scaring the nation
As they smell of embrocation