It's not very short –

PEG-LEG JACK

Peg-Leg Jack went out one night to get a little gin.
He went down to the landlord's house and the landlord wasn't in.
He rapped, he rapped, he rapped, he rapped, he rapped all night in vain,
When all of a sudden a knock, knock, knock, come on the windowpane.

Up to the window he turned his head, and there a maid he spied.
He thought by the way that she (sound of 3 knocks) that she would be his bride.
“Come down, come down,” said Peg-Leg Jack, “and sit on the porch with me,”
And down she come and she sat on the porch, as pretty as ever you see.

Oh, they billed and they cooed and they kissed and they loved.
They hugged and they squeezed and they turtle-doved.
They honeyed and sweetied and babied-my-pet.
They sparked and cuddled and there they sat.

Then of a sudden here come her father, a-drivin' the village hack.
With a roar and a bellow and "hey, young fellow", he started for Peg-Leg Jack.
Jack lit out with a yip and a shout, for life to him was sweet,
And Jack's peg leg went knock, knock, knock, upon the village street.

“Goodbye, my lover,” the maiden cried, “I hope you don't get killed.”
Her old man grabbed his pistol out, with powder and bullets filled.
Jack bumped into a big fat lady, and fell in a puddle kersplash!
The old man's pistol went bang, bang, bang, as down the road they dashed.

Oh, they raced and they chased and they galloped and they crawled.
They snarled and they yelled and they hollered and they bawled,
Dodged and ducked and hopped up and down,
Back and forth and round and round.

Jack climbed up into a tree and thought he'd saved his skin,
But the woodpeckers pecked on his old peg leg, and they drove him down again.
He ran into a neighbor's barn and the old man followed him in.
A mule got sore and whaled away, and kicked him out again.

Peg-Leg Jack, he ran kersmack, into the constabule,
Who joined the chase with the girl's old man, the fat lady and the mule.
They chased poor Jack around and round, and round a big haystack.
The old man ran round the other way and he grabbed poor Peg-Leg Jack.

Oh, Jack hit her pappy and her pappy hit back.
Their noses got red and their eyes got black.
They wrestled and the tussled and they cussed and they swore.
They barked their knuckles and their clothes they tore.

The old mule cried, the fat lady screamed, the constabule let out a yell.
He grabbed the old man by the collar and locked him in the cell.
Peg-Leg Jack, he hurried back, the maiden for to wed,
But found that she had gone and married a soldier boy instead.

Oh, poor Jack cried and he bellowed and he swore,
Grabbed him a ship and he sailed from the shore,
Sailed away as fast as sin,
And that was the last they seen of him.





T!!!!!!!!