I mentioned this one above, but it's not in the forum or DT, so I thought I would add it.

JUST THE CLAWS
Tune: Just Because
Parody lyrics by S. W. Oates © 2001

Just because you sit there all purry;
Just because you strut like you're so hot;
Just because you may bring me something
--A pigeon or mouse you caught;
Though you make me spend lots of money,
I laugh and call you old Sandy Paws;
Well I do love you, kitty--everything, it's true,
But the claws, just the claws.

Just because you warm up my pillow,
Just because you rub 'gainst my leg
Just because you're playful and silly,
And use your meowing to beg.
Though you make your bed on my clean laundry,
And leave a trail with your old sandy paws,
Well I do love you, kitty--everything, it's true,
But the claws, just the claws.

Just because you're silky and furry,
Just because you chase butterflies
Just because you're seldom in a hurry,
And gaze with the look of the wise.
Though you make me act as your doorman,
And muss my dress with your old sandy paws,
Well I do love you, kitty--everything, it's true,
But the claws, just the claws.

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 20-Jan-03.