CATCH A WIFFER WOFFER
Author or authors unknown

Oh, I'm walkin' round the corner
Doing little harm
Along comes a policeman
And grabs me by the arm

Oh, he walks me round the corner
Rings a little bell
Along comes a wagon
And knocks me in a cell

I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh
Catch a wiffer woffer by the toe
And if it hollers, hollers, hollers,
Let it go, I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh

Oh, five o'clock in the morning
I looked up on the wall --
The roaches and the bedbugs
Were having a game of ball

Oh, the score was six to nothing
The roaches were ahead --
The bedbugs hit a home run
And knocked me out of bed

I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh,
Catch a wiffer woffer by the toe
And if it hollers, hollers, hollers,
Let it go, I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh

Oh, six o'clock in the morning
The jailer comes around
A piece of bread and coffee
That weighs a half a pound

Oh, the coffee tastes like tobacco juice
The bread is hard and stale
But that's the way they treat the bums
In New York County Jail

I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh,
Catch a wiffer woffer by the toe
And if it hollers, hollers, hollers,
Let it go, I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh

I went downtown for breakfast
I ordered ham and eggs
I ate so many pickles
The juice ran down my legs

I fell into a sewer
And that is where I died
They did not call it murder --
They called it sewer-cide

I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh,
Catch a wiffer woffer by the toe
And if it hollers, hollers, hollers,
Let it go, I'm singin' eenie meenie and a miney moh


LUZERNE COUNTY JAIL

I was standing on a corner
Not doing any harm
Along comes a policeman
Grabs me by the arm

Takes me around the corner
Rings a little bell
Next thing I know
I'm sitting in a cell

I woke up in the morning
Looked up at the wall
The bed bugs and roaches
They had a game of ball

The score was 19 to 20
The roaches were ahead
The bedbugs hit a home run
And knocked me out of bed

I went downstairs for breakfast
The toast was hard and stale
Coffee like tobacco juice
That's the Luzerne County Jail


NAMELESS SONG

This mornin' when I woke up
I looked up on the wall
The roaches and the bedbugs
Were having a game of ball

The score was six to nothing,
The roaches were ahead.
A bedbug hit a home run
And knocked me outta bed!

OOOOOOhhhh...
Hambones, hambones, hambones...

It ain't gonna rain no more...
Soooo... How in the heck
Can I wash my neck
If it ain't gonna rain no mo!


OKLAHOMA DEPRESSION SONG (recorded by Elmer Jennings)

I woke up one morning and looked upon the wall
The cooties and the bedbugs were having a game of ball

The score was nine to nothing and the cooties were ahead
A bed bug knocked a home run and knocked me out of bead

OOOhh... ham bone, ham bone, disconnected cheese
A weenie turned a flip-flop and lit right on his knees

I went downstairs to breakfast, the toast was hard and stale
The coffee tasted like tobacco juice fresh from the county jail

OOOhh... Ella had a baby; She named it Sammy Jim
She took it to the bathroom to learn it how to swim

It drank two tubs of water and it ate two bars of soap
And now poor Ella's baby is learning how to float

It floated up the river and it floated down the lane
And now poor Ella's baby is never home again


AIN'T GONNA RAIN NO MORE

Chorus: Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more, it ain't gonna rain no more
It rained last week and the week before, it ain't gonna rain no more

Mary had a little lamb, so goes the tale of yore
She loved that little lamb so much, she passed the plate for more

A bullfrog sat on a lily pad, looking up in the sky
He fell right off that lily pad and got water in his eye

Oh, a peanut sat on a railroad track; its heart was all a-flutter
Along came the 5:05 - Oops! Peanut butter

A cow walked on the railroad track; the train was coming fast
The train got off the railroad track to let the cow go past!

I woke up in the morning; I glanced upon the wall
The roaches and the bedbugs were having a game of ball
The score was six to nothing, the roaches were ahead
A bedbug hit a home run and knocked me out of bed!

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone
We think that he should tend the sick and leave the well alone

A farmer slipped on the old barn roof when rotten boards gave way
And as he fell, he shrugged and said, "It's time to hit the hay"

Humpty Dumpty fell right down and landed on his head
So, all the horses and the men had scrambled eggs and bread


I DON'T WANT NO MORE OF THIS ARMY LIFE

Five o'clock in the morning
And I gazed upon the wall
Bedbugs and the roaches
Were having a game of ball

The score was six to nothing
And the bedbugs were ahead
The roaches hit a homer
And knocked me outta bed

I don't want no more of this army life
Gee, Mom, I wanna go home
No, I don't want to more of this army life
Gee, Mom, I wanna go...
Oh boy, do I wanna go...
Gee, Mom, I wanna go home