Oh my wife's name is Lorena
You really should have seen her
She's beautiful is what I always said,
My name is John Wayne Bobbitt,
I work hard at my job it
Was my right to have a little fun in bed,

Well, she wasn't in the mood then
I got a little rude then
I guess I got a little out of line
I was finished I was sleeping
When Lorena came in creeping
And she took something important that was mine.

Oh yes my little wifey took a little kitchen knifey
A nd did a little home made surgery
She took the knife I bought he
Made me a little shorter
Then took off with the very best of me.

She took off with my promoter
Took off in her Toyota, she knew how much I'd miss her
when she was gone
But, then she told a coppy where she flung my little floppy
And a very kindly doctor sewed it on.

I got back my little buddy
It's my little understudy,
And it's going to work according to reports,
But it cowers and it cringes
And it's tender 'round the hinges
And I guess I'd better keep it in my shorts. (Tom Paxton)