Here's a variation:

Some friends and I in a public house were playing dominos one night,
When all of a sudden in the potman rushed with his face all chalky white.
"What's up?" said Brown. "Have you seen your aunt? Have you seen your Aunt Maria?"
"Oh, me Aunt Maria be buggered!" said he. "The bleedin' pub's on fire!"

A potman is the guy who collects up all the empty glasses in return for a drink or two from the landlord if he is lucky.

Regards

Ian