Tell ya what, mate -- if the hang up is hitting that hard it's not going to be a created, ongoing long term relationship. You can't get in the clear to build a genuine article until you're both on the way out of the woods of dramatizing and high game-playing. So, to be more blunt than it is any of my business to be, I would treat it like a lingering addiction to an unhealthy chemical. Cold turkey.

If either of you wants a real long-term relationship, you'll have to come out and say so and build it from scratch.

Meanwhile, suffer your way out of the tanglefoot.

A