Guest Keitho's version is very similar to one my old friend Denis Puleston used to sing, and also shares the Monday to Sunday verse parody of "I'll Make a Man of You" which I never was aware of - now it makes more sense:

I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER
(Learned from the singing of Denis Puleston of Brookheaven, Long Island)

Monday I touched her on the ankle,
Tuesday I touched her on the knee,
Wednesday with success I lifted up her dress,
Thursday her chemise, gor-blimey!
Friday I put my hand upon it,
Saturday she gave me balls a tweak,
But it was Sunday after supper,
I rammed it up her scupper,
Now I do it seven days a week, gor-blimey!

I don't want to join the Army,
I don't want me knockers shot away,
I just want to hang around,
Piccadilly underground,
Living off the earnings of a high born lady,
Call out the Army and the Navy,
Call out the old Home Guard,
You can always call the Bold Territorials,
They'll save England with a smile, gor-blimey!

Call out me mother and me brother,
Call out the old Home Guard;
You can call out me mother,
Me sister and me brother,
But for God's sake, don't call me!