YOUR FLAG DECAL WON'T GET YOU INTO HEAVEN ANYMORE
By John Prine
As recorded by John Prine on “John Prine” (1971)

1. While digesting Reader's Digest in the back of a dirty book store,
A plastic flag with gum on the back fell out on the floor.
Well, I picked it up and I ran outside, slapped it on my window shield,
And if I could see old Betsy Ross, tell her how good I feel.

CHORUS: But your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore.
They're already overcrowded from your dirty little war.
Now Jesus don't like killin', no matter what the reason's for,
And your flag decal won't get you into Heaven anymore.

2. Well, I went to the bank this morning and the cashier said to me:
"If you join the Christmas club, we'll give you ten of them flags for free."
Well, I didn't mess around a bit; I took him up on what he said,
And I stuck them stickers all over my car and one on my wife's forehead. CHORUS

3. Well, I got my window shield so filled with flags, I couldn't see,
So, I ran the car upside a curb right into a tree.
By the time they got a doctor down, I was already dead,
And I'll never understand why the man standing in the Pearly Gates said: CHORUS

[In the 3rd chorus, substitute “We’re already…” for “They’re already….”]