Sorry, but I only have half a gorilla suit. Dave Swan, The great El Swanno, uses the other half in his act.

Dave's most recent act, as you may be aware, was to ascend a 90 foot tower, garbed in half a gorilla suit and fishnet tights. He would leap from his perch, performing his "Swan Dive" while playing the "Garry Owen" on Bagpipes, ignite a fart, and rocket into a Fire Helmet filled with lime jello 90 foot below. After several audience members suffered heart attacks and 47 were sent to the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed, area promoters blackballed the "Great El Swanno High Dive."

Dave is currently feeling as useless as possum pellets and since his own level of creativity is on par with that of a dwarf tulip bulb, can we all band together and come up with something for the continuance of his solo career?

Cleigh O'Possum is in deep despair over Dave's joblessness and hopes that a good suggestion will be forthcoming from a fellow 'Catter. On the other hand, maybe I can get the other half of the gorilla suit back.

Spaw