LOL!!! Fantastic. Mind-boggling. Did you compose all that, Spaw? What did you do, consult a thesaurus?

I am more than impressed, I am stupefied. This is better than Scott Pakin's complaint generator.

There has got to be a use out there for a man with your talents. I mean, what the hell is Joan Rivers famous for when you're around to insult people?

There are so many great phrases in there..."tiny-fisted tantrums", "one-handed, slack-jawed drooling meatslapper", "the personality of wallpaper".

Gad.

You are the Bob Dylan of character assassination. Can I get your autograph?

- LH