Not really a pirate joke but thrown into the pot fer fun Mates... An old sailor after many years of service on the North Atlantic was finally going to retire and live at the Seamans Mission. As he was paying off in Liverpool the Customs and Excise officers informed him that the Parrot he kept as a pet for many years could not be landed in england due to strict quarantine regulations. After discussing options the poor sailor finally agreed that it would be best to put the parrot down. The parrot was listening to these proceedings and was distinctly pissed off. Being a seafaring parrot he had a sailors vocabulary, and was swearing away when the Customs official tried to pick up his cage. He bit a chunk out of one finger. Out of sight of the old sailor (who was very fond of his pet)the Customs Officer said "right you little bastard see how you like this" He stuffed the parrot into a burlap sack, tied the string top and started whacking it against a steel door. He then submerged the bag in a 45 gallon drum of water and held it there for several minutes... Hauling up the bag he said "how did you like that you little bastard"? the parrot was heard to reply "who the fuck is on the wheel"?