I can empathize.
I'm going through my own personal rut and have been dealing with it for about 5 years now. Male mid life crisis? I dunno. Maybe paritially. Seems like as soon as I turned 40 my body started sending me little signals of various things that no doubt will start to really plague me later on in life and one of which will ultimately kill me. The libido is shot. I see a nice looking woman and in one half of me brain I think, yeah I'd like to jump her bones, and with the other half think, why bother? too much hassle and then she'll want a relationship. I've been feeling like I'm dead inside for a long time. The only thing that keeps me going is playing music. I have many male friends of a similar age to me, who woke up one day and said life's too short, I'm miserable, my marriage sucks, and I'm tired of feeling dead inside. So they walked. They support their families and have new younger girlfriends. Their libidos are better than ever and they feel alive again on the inside and the outside and they don't regret the decision. I personally think it takes a very high degree of total selfishness (self preservation?) to walk (especially when there are children involved) and a lot of balls as well. But I can understand the reasons for doing it. In most of their cases the spark and the love was gone from the marriage. They were taken completely for granted, or made to feel inadequate, unloved, miserable and useless. I cannot bring myself to leave. I figure either way I'm fucked. If I stay in the marriage, I remain dead inside where my mood fluctuates between deep depression to a feeling of powerlessness. You reach a point where you become joyless and nothing gives you any satisfaction including personal achievements, your children, whatever. (Clinical depression symptoms?) And if I leave the marriage, I can never have a moments peace of mind in the solitude of a new apartment, because I'd be plagued with feelings of guilt for having walked out on my family. I'd be made to feel like an outcast by my inlaws, wife and children, and utterly humiliated. I don't wanna see a shrink because I like clinging to my own self pity. There's a certain morose comfort in it that I cannot describe that feels comfortable, familiar and reassuring in a very demented and dark way.

I think if you can walk Mudshark1 and do it with peace of mind, and still look after your obligations to your wife and family, and in the long run be happier and feel it was the right thing to do, more power to you. Me? I'm almost tempted to commit a crime that would give me a sentence of 10 years of solitary confinement just for the private space and being left the fuck alone and devoid of all responsiblity. But I won't because then I'd be even more depressed about causing harm to some innocent victim. This male mid life crisis thing just sucks. The only time I feel productive is when I change the strings on a guitar.

Thanks for allowing the rant. I've wanted to get this off my chest for a long time, and the cloak of anonymity afforded by not using my member name, has made it possible. For that I am grateful as there is no one I am comfortable discussing this with in my real 3D life. Hopefully this fog will eventually lift, and the sun will shine again.