What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! A little Aussie kid got a new boomerang. He went crazy trying to throw the old one away! An American tourist in Australia is in a car accident and is knocked unconscious. He wakes up in hospital the following day and asks the nurse, "Did they bring me here to die?" She says, "No, they brought you here yesterdie!" Not much, Kathryn, but it's a start.

Seamus