The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #40528   Message #582690
Posted By: GUEST,Fiver
30-Oct-01 - 01:36 PM
Thread Name: BS: Musicians who have the bad marriage blue
Subject: RE: BS: Musicians who have the bad marriage blue
I have been married five times, and I have learned that marriage is a great institution, for some people. Doesn't usually work out for musicians, though. for one thing, music takes a lot of the energy and attention that most people put in a relationship, and musicians and performers need more attention than one person can give, any way. When it comes down to it, the musician puts the music first-which is bad on the relationship, and if they can't put the music first, they get bitter, which is worse on the relationship.

Another thing is that with a piece of music, you can always work problems out, but with relationships, you don't have that kind of control, and with music, once it is worked out, it is always good--

To a degree, I feel bad about the bad marriages--because at the beginning of each one, I am sure that I put a lot of energy into the relationship that I put into the music toward the end. I am sure that, at the end, each one felt like I was not the person that they married. On the other hand, people, women especially, project a lot of stuff onto performers-when the person is turns out to be just a person, they are disappointed-

Some people are best when they are alone--the thing is that you don't learn that about yourself til twenty or so years after the time you are old enough to get married--