I genuinely fear for my mental health. I agree, AGAIN, with Kendall.

GUEST GUEST, at some point I have to believe that your extramarital relationship is going to affect your married life. It's amazing after fourteen years that it hasn't already. A one-night stand like the one Jeri describes is one thing, but a fourteen year relationship with the same person is another. Just having to "cover up" the other relationship is a terrible burden, I would think. And it is difficult for me to believe that your spouse doesn't know, or suspect something by now.

I think before one takes Guest Guest's advice he or she should ask themselves, 'If I lose my marriage over this other relationship, will it be worth it?' Another question: 'How would I feel if I found out that my spouse is having an affair with someone?'

Sorry if I sound preachy, but I'm one who really believes in trying to make a marriage work, and I think it takes two to do that. If it simply can't work ...get out of it.

DougR