I've always thought that one tolerates a situation because it isn't intolerable. When it is, you do something about it. So one needs to figure out where, on the continuum of ecstacy - total, complete and absolute misery one is situated 'cos that can at least tell you how prepared one should be for the inevitable aggro that comes with the ending of a relationship, no matter how horrible it has become.

The other thing that has become apparent to me (two divorces and a couple of, what I considered to be important, relationships) is that if a relationship is based on need, rather than want, ('how am I going to survive without a partner/my kids around me/security' and so on) then it is flawed. Get away from being reliant on other people for your happiness and explore your own resources - that means that you can take full responsibility for your own misery and stick with it if you like the attention it brings. Or, of course, make some happiness for yourself.

Amazing what you resources you'll find if you start having a real good look inside yourself - and you'll realise what a waste of breath your excuses to yourself have been.