Why did I get married? because I found a nice man who I could live with, have interesting conversations with, who could bring up our kids in a nice stable financially secure environment, and who wasn't going to be violent or run off with anyone else. Why do I choose to have affairs ? to keep me sane and to provide the romance that he can't. I didn't marry him for that bit. I havn't had the same other man for 16 years I've met 3. The current one has lasted for 5 years and is going strong. The others just moved away cos of jobs etc - we are still in touch. The current man and I meet regularly but even the friends who are part of our social group don't know. They may have an idea but to them we are just good friends, fellow musicians. We get away on our own for the occasional night or two a few times a year but mostly when other people are around we are just friends (and get by with a lot of inuendoes and secret signs!) and save the rest til we are alone. AND IT IS BRILLIANT!!!!!