To the tune of "Phil The Fluter's Ball" (how tacky is that?!)

Noah from the Bible got a tip-off of a flood
So he built a bloody great big boat as quickly as he could
And bunged it full of animals, large, medium and small
And sure, Noah he was laughing as the rain began to fall
And Mister Johann Zillinger, who deals in dodgy animals
Was shopped to the police by a local coppers' nark
And as the cops surrounded him, he said I am no criminal
God above's appointed me to be a human ark

With a pig in my wig and a nest in my vest
I've got ants in my pants and pests on my chest
Gnus in my shoes and a fox in my socks
And in the lining of my jacket I've concealed a huge bull-ox

The airport police stood open-jawed in disbelief
They believed that they were trailing a villain and a thief
But now he'd turned the tables, if they believed his word
It appeared that the boul' Johann was an envoy of the Lord
And thus it was Herr Johann evaded long detention
He should have spent a long time in a prison cell
But he was upgraded at the very mention
Of his mission from the Lord to save all animals from hell

With a cat in my hat and some bitches in my britches
Cunningly concealed behind some decorative stitches
I've got chicks in my knicks and - the very coup de grace! –
I've got a hairy caterpillar hiding in my ass