The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #38385   Message #592787
Posted By: Amos
14-Nov-01 - 06:33 PM
Thread Name: BS: Humor Us, Chapter II
Subject: RE: BS: Humor Us, Chapter II
Recent notes on Human Logical Capabilities:

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards.

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant a lot like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags", and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...... does that mean that 1 out of 5 actually enjoys it?

The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 326 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals. He just thinks they need more supervision.

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a "whack"?

If a pig loses its voice, is it "disgruntled"?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you "put your two cents in", what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a "broker"?

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"?

If lawyers are "disbarred" and clergymen "defrocked", doesn't it follow that electricians can be "delighted", and musicians can be "denoted"?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use?

Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?

What are we supposed to do, write to them?

\Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps, so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?