When I wrote this I thought I was just trying to find as many rhymes for "blue" as would fit into a performance of the Upton-on-Severn Handkerchief Dance, but perhaps there was an unknown significance in it all along, and I was just an unwitting vessel for the outpourings of a greater cosmic intelligence:

I took the kids to the zoo.
I fed them cabbage and stew.
There's not a lot you can do,
When wearing a bonnet of blue.

Well, I know a pink kangaroo,
Who's got an auntie in Crewe,
But Haydn wrote three symphonies
While wearing a bonnet of blue.

Now when you read a review
To laugh out loud is taboo:
So bring out the Branston
Wearing a bonnet of blue.

A lovely lady called Lou,
She likes an old cockatoo,
So now they're forming a queue
All wearing a bonnet of blue.

Now when you've had quite a few
And you think you're going to spew,
Well, don't expect much sympathy
While wearing a bonnet of blue

The Daleks shot Doctor Who,
'Cos he drank his mum's Iron Bru,
So beam me up, Scotty,
Wearing a bonnet of blue.

The poor old man from the Pru
Has got a dose of the flu
And he's not going to pull through
While wearing a bonnet of blue.

Well although I'm not from Peru
I drink the old Mountain Dew
But there's no cure for baldness
When you're wearing a bonnet of blue.

I know a fellow or two
Can play the didgeridoo,
So tie my kangaroo down, sport
Wearing a bonnet of blue.

I had a watch that was new
A present from Danny La Rue
But now I haven't a clue
While wearing a bonnet of blue.

Well if you're good at Kung Fu,
Ignore the hullabaloo
But you could get your Hampton Court
While wearing a bonnet of blue.

So if your puppy won't chew,
Just find a goose and say boo.
'Cos I can't believe it's not butter
Wearing a bonnet of blue.

I found a wasp in my shoe.
I turned my back and it grew,
And now it's bigger than you
Through wearing a bonnet of blue.

The daughter of Brian Boru
Was always sniffing at glue,
But you won't catch an overdraft
By wearing a bonnet of blue.

Now what I tell you is true.
If you say it isn't I'll sue.
So now you'd better believe us
Wearing a bonnet of blue.

WassaiL! V

(Or perhaps it's just crap, anyway)