I'm exhausted. I've been looking for humbugs all over town and can't find any. Don't get me wrong. I get stuff for my relatives' and friends' kids and I lay on the big scoff and booze for all visitors but I refuse to get any presents or cards for adults. Except Mum, cause she can still kick my ass.

Come on now, how many of you don't know what the hell to get for so-and-so and really wish they wouldn't get you anything ? Seriously, I don't want anything except world peace and good health for all. I've been waiting quite a while.