Thank you everyone. You have no idea what a comfort you have all been.

Darn it. Here I go crying again. I guess I still have a long way to go.

I've been really sacred lately. I'm afraid that I'm starting to forget him, that everyone is starting to forget him and that soon it'll be like he was never here.

Thanksgiving was hard for me this year without him and I have been deliberately avoiding thinking about Christmas because I know that it'll be even worse. I like to start early with Christmas shopping and yesterday when cleaning out my closet I found the present that I had gotten for him this year. That hurt a lot.

Fiver, no he wasn't a victim of 9/11. In fact I live all the way across the country in California. He was over for dinner on Nov. 6. He left for home about 7pm and nobody's seen him since then. I think it's the not knowing what happened that is killing me. I'm so afraid that he died afraid, in pain, and alone. I would have given anything to have been with him.

It's just that he was so loving. He would just unconditionally love people. He was so friendly. I've know him since I was 10 years old and he's always been there for me through that whole time.

Nobody knows for sure if he's dead but I think that he is. Maybe it's the connection that we had but I just kind of know.

So I guess that I'll just concentrate on getting through a day at a time and hope that he can see me from wherever he is.

Wherever you are, Tom, I love you and I'll never forget you.

Again, thank you everyone.

Rebecca <><