Now I'm in here, the door has closed, And every thing seems wrong. There are things inside this room, That somehow, don't belong Oh God, I feel so embarrassed, I've not done this before, I have entered the wrong cloakroom door;

This is the ladies; I'm a man! Where are you supposed to stand?

Tune "You're a lady, I'm a man" by Peter Skellern

It never actually gets any further, the audience are usually in hysterics by now…

As sung by Richard Stilgoe......

LTS