Gervase - and Micca:

On the subject of parodies, I'm just off to see Les Barker at Herga

Meanwhile, here you are. (Must learn about line spacing one of these days)....

Oh me name's Napoleon Bonaparte. I'm the conqueror of all nations
I've vanquished German legions, and sent Kings from their thrones
I've banished Dukes and Earls, and splendid congregations
But now I am transported to St. Helena's shore.

I never meant to start a fight, when I went out last Friday night
A quiet drink and a game of darts was all I had in mind
I cannot quite remember now, just what was said to start the row
It may have been the politics; it often is I find

CHORUS

I was just about to fall apart; I'd had more than my ration
I'd had ten pints of Brakspears; they'd have done me on my own
Then I got on the vodka, scotch, and drinks from every nation
And then I was transported on my ear through the pub door.

There was an Ulsterman in there, contentious bugger with red hair
He spoke of good King Billy, and he kicked me in the shins
Then someone said, "God bless the Pope" well, after that there was no hope
Before the fighting started I downed a treble gin

I tore the door from off the Gents, it gave the landlord grave offence
I smashed his Space Invaders, and I kicked his fruit machine
What people thought was really rude was when I on the barmaid spewed
I'll have to find another pub, I might try Cockpole Green.”


MCP and I tried Cockpole Green a couple of years ago, and the pub appeared to have closed.