Uncle Jaque: It is a great pleasure to read of someone else's mighty and agonized angst and struggles - and be content that one isn't having such personal angst. Sounds like you get to win anyway.

Beards came up above but, for what it's worth, I believe US sailors were known (and visable) for being chin-whiskerless. And short-cut hair. And red-top boots for some reason.

I'd be interested to know if it really matters.