A woman came home just in time to find her husband having an affair. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his tally-whacker in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband, terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to...to... cut it off, are you?!"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, said, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

(I didn't write this. I stole it.)