Up at the Nordstrom's*
tune: Up on the Housetop

Up at the Nordstrom's Santa's toughs
Stand nearby with gas and cuffs
Just let some kid get out of hand
And see how fast on the ground he'll land

Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?
Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go up to the Nordstrom's
Click click click
Out come the switchblades to guard St. Nick

First comes a girl known as little Nell
She sits down and gives him hell
Pulling his beard till he hollers "stop!"
She's trundled off by an elfin cop

Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?
Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go up to the Nordstrom's
Click click click
Out come the switchblades to guard St. Nick

Next comes a boy known as little Bob
Keeping him calm is quite a job
When he attempts to steal Santa's sack
He's eating carpet with a knee in his back

Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?
Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go up to the Nordstrom's
Click click click
Out come the switchblades to guard St. Nick

Next comes a girl with a foreign name
She gets treated just the same
When she attempts to pinch his cheek
The guards come and knock her into next week

Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?
Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go up to the Nordstrom's
Click click click
Out come the switchblades to guard St. Nick

When closing time comes winging 'round
No more kiddies can be found
They've been arrested or even worse
Santa drives off in an eight-deer hearse

Copyright ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

*In the Seattle dialect (coffeese), store names always end with 's. Even if it's not the name of some person or family (e.g. Safeway's). Don't ask us why.