We want to run this like high school? I wouldn't go back to high school for all the tea in China, thanks, and I really love tea. The most whatever, according to whom, and on which day? Yes, it sounds like high school--which is the place where most of us suffered more than anywhere else before or since. Personally, I really hoped that hierarchies, gradations from best to worst, top to bottom, weren't going to enter my life or my thinking anymore. I also wouldn't run a contest for "Favorite member of my coffee club", or "Best parent", "Best child", "most fun co-worker". It can't help but be hurtful, no matter how innocently intentioned.

When it comes to categories, I've always liked the sound of "Most likely to succumb" -- but only for its euphonious silliness.