Try if you can to get ahold of a copy of "The Noonday Demon" by Andrew Solomon. It's wise, compassionate, pragmatic - and very readable. He doesn't offer easy solutions because of course there aren't any. But it may serve as a sort of map, from one who's been there. And he supports the advice of many of the Mudcatters here, who sound pretty wise and compassionate themselves. In particular (I can't speak from personal experience on this one, but I hear it time and time again): However much you dislike being on medication, don't abandon it! Finally, remember what E.L. Doctorrow said: "It's like driving at night - you can only see as far as the beam of the headlights. But that will get you there."