Does anyone have the words of "Joan the leather queen". It's a parody of "Jim the carter lad" and has a choras which goes something like:

Crack, crack goes my whip, Oh how the lashes sting. I tie up chaps in chains and straps And lash them till they sing. I make them roar so loudly, While I stand all serene. There's none can hurt a man so bad, As Joan the leather queen.

It's not for me - honest - I want Linda to sing it - preferably without the actions - although there are some folkies I can think of who could do with the odd bit of discipline/correction. If you can think of any suitable recipients who will be going to Stony Stratford, I'll try and make sure that she packs her Satin Basque, Fishnet Stockings, Leather Boots etc.... whoops I'd better go and get a cold shower !