Kids are smart, M.Ted, and it doesn't take them long to figure out that if they have full access to both parents (a good thing, as long as there isn't an abusive situation going on) and if they know that they're the most important thing to both of you. Two relaxed households (or at least one that becomes relaxed after the separation!) has a calming effect. I told my two kids the options as far as moving out and they told me which apartment complex they liked, because they had friends there. Fine with me. Also has a good playground.

Yes there were tears. And they called their dad every night at bedtime for a good month before they relaxed and realized they were seeing him every day after school. I was in the position to let their dad keep the house. It's small, but we had equity. What was MORE important to me was that if I stayed in the area or moved (more important if I moved) that when they return to stay with their dad they're in the same house, with the same friends and neighbors and support system for all of us. The funny thing out of this is that we've been divorced for more than two years, but because I come and go all of the time and the kids are there a lot, several of the meighbors have still not caught onto the fact that we're divorced. Two different people were surprised at the news just this month.

It sounds from Patrish's friends that she is making the correct move. That inspires more confidence than do the doom-and-gloom comments from those who would try to scare her into preventing the breakup of a family. Your children aren't at peril if you take very good care to put them first.