Hi JJ - I'm relatively new here and don't know anyone personally, but from the posts I read the Mudcat looks like a representative cross-section of humankind: it takes all kinds.
If you check out threads like "Get well, Aine", you'll find lots of love and friendship expressed. And what you may be calling "bullying, snideness" etc. mostly seems to me like sarcastic banter between witty people. (Though there seems to be an unreasonable degree of Neil Young-loathing around here...)
Lastly, what little genuinely rude flaming I see here seems mostly perpetrated by Guests.
I like it here; there are lots of very intelligent, knowledgeable, and opinionated people around here... with the added bonus that a bunch of them are musicians! Folk musicians, even!
Stick around, you seem like a nice person.

Cheers,
Michael