Ladies and gentlemen

Thank you for your co-operation.

We have it on good authority that Reilly and de Burgh are back on the train to Dublin.

While I've got your attention, could anyone that's lost a wee child please contact the information desk. The child was found during the emergency barbering operation that took care of the earlier beard-lock incident.

He's about three foot high, a skinny ugly wee bugger with a set of uilleann pipes on him.

No ... houl' on. Stand down! It's Paddy Moloney!