To the tune of Dearg Doom

I'm a tube of the very first degree
I think I'm brilliant cos I've made some shite TV
But I'm a poghal; I'm like Dan O'Donnell's brawr
I wipe my plate and Then I ask for more, more, more

I'm Eamonn Holmes
I'm Eamonn Holmes

My suits are shiny, and strain around my tum
I'm the proud possessor of a big and wobbly bum
I eat Tayto crisps and toasted sodie farls
Is it any wonder I a, like a bar'l, bar'l bar'l

I'm Eamonn Holmes
I'm Eamonn Holmes