Vixen,

I am understanding that your pick is in the right hand--yes? Of course, this is all conjecture, without seeing how you are holding the pick, but a lot of times, a simple shift in your grip will make a difference--

Let your hand close, not quite into a fist, then put the pick on your index finger, with the point above the first joint, and pointing in the same direction, with only about a half an inch of pick sticking out--

I do best when my thumb is roughly parallel to the strings--this is so that my wrist is not bent--

The picking movement comes from a radial movement of the arm, the work is done by the upper muscles in the forearm, not the hand muscles or the wrist muscles--you don't exacty relax these muscles, but you don't "grip", you merely hold the pick--

Now for practice, just try playing downstrokes, say on the bass note of an open G chord--play at about 140 beats per minute and then play first one two downstrokes on each beat--after you've got that, try your church lick(down-downup-down-down or think of it as "Dance-with-your-partner)--

Believe it or not, this little lesson took me a while to think through, and another while to write out(longer than it takes to start an inflamatory thread, and almost as long as it takes to write a self-righteous reply)--anyway, if you will permit, I am going to say something that I hope you will take in the right way--

Rather than spending four years trying to figure out something yourself, why not just find someone who knows what they are doing, and ask them to show you how to hold the pick, and to do the basic strumming motion? Even if you have to spend a few dollars for a lesson or two, and even if you have to drive a few miles(or even a few hundred miles) the amount of time and effort that you save will be worth it--