OK, I'll try again.

I am here to discuss music, and stuff loosely related to music. I don't feel a need to be a group member to participate in a way that is enjoyable for me.

What is preventing my enjoyment of music and music related discussions here is the level of BS, and the incessant flaming, trolling, and discussion of the member/guest thing.

I have no problem being a lone wolf folks, really. I have no interest in becoming an insider, just like I have no interest in getting a cookie so I can be a member. I've been an outsider my whole life, and am quite happy to inhabit my life on the margins, rather than at the center of any community I am functioning in. A lot of us artist types operate this way. And I will admit to being baffled by the fact that at a music site, so many people claiming to be artistically inclined don't understand and appreciate the fact that a lot of us really don't want to "belong" or "join", we just want to read some chat, and maybe contribute maybe not, with others we share some common interests with.

I don't want to attend a barbeque, a party, a gathering, or any other sort of meeting with people here. There are a few folks it would be nice to meet, but I've a full life as it is, and I'm not here because I need company. I just want to go on-line a few hours every week, and get the chance to listen to folks talking shop with others who share my interest and passion for the music.

But it is this dysfunctional group dynamic which, for me, gets in the way of my enjoyment nowadays. Not always, but often enough so that in the last few months, I've become unwilling to keep my mouth shut about it, and I started posting about it. Even though I could count on one hand the number of times I'd posted to Mudcat in the previous years on two hands.

That is it folks. If I leave, you'll never know it, because I won't make any announcements, or stomp out and slam the door behind me. That is part of the beauty of anonymity to me. But you can all rest assured I'm not going to leave and badmouth the forum elsewhere, because it just isn't that big of a deal to me. Really, I just continue to bitch here, just like a lot of other folks do. I find this place to be a major pain in the ass more and more often. But even that isn't like, wrecking the quality of my life or relationships. Maybe some of the rest of you take Mudcat and your Mudcat relationships that seriously, but I don't.

I mean, c'mon, at the end of theday, this place is only an Internet forum, like the others I frequent when I have time. It isn't more special to me than any others, because I haven't fostered any relationships with people here. Just like I haven't fostered any relationships with people in any other on-line forums I frequent. I'm guessing that is true for others besides me too. Sure, we have made acquaintances with some very nice folks. Some of them are even very knowledgeable about the music, and I always enjoy my interactions with them.

But a whole lot of people tend to drop out of forums when this sort of shit hits the fan because it just ain't worth it to put up with the bullshit and the abusive atmosphere. And that, for me, is the point that Mudcat has reached. The bullshit and abusive atmosphere has really begun to wear on me. I've started saying so, instead of remaining silent, and tried to communicate with others here what it is that is bothering me, and what I think might solve the problems.

It doesn't bother me that the most common response to my posts is flames from the Mudcat Mafia. It is what I expect to see happen when I post, because my perceptions are threatening to the status quo they are so set on maintaining here. I expect that too. So there really isn't anything folks here can say through flaming me, name calling, etc to deter me. In case some of you haven't caught on yet, I'm impervious to those flame warrior tactics. But by all means, keep throwing those flaming spears at the messenger, as I know that is exactly what a good number of you responding in this thread get out of Mudcat--the ability to hurl abuse at people you will never have to be held accountable to face to face.