God …

Thon's some band that Daniel O'Donnell and Enya've put together, right enough!

Derek Bell – wearing thon harp low-slung, like a wee, oul' fat, gawky version of Sid Vicious.

Brendan Shine on bass. Look at him pacin' up and down there! Like yer man Hook outta New Order!

Eamonn Holmes on drums. He's got to use extra long drumsticks to reach the buggers cos his gut's so big.

Shane MacGowan doin' a Bez.

And bugger me! If it isn't Brian Young on guitar!