I wanted to set the record straight, and sing the Ballad of Pancho and Lefty before the Senate Armed Services Committee, but they won't let me out of my undisclosed location. We were hoping your people could intervene on Bertie's behalf with Dick Cheney's men. We understand Bertie hasn't heard from the White House since George left for Jerusalem.

Since the DMEL is all about peace and understanding, we were hoping you could explain again to Bertie why we can't we all just get along, and why Dick Cheney always has to have things unilaterally his way.

Dick promises not to tell Congress who you are, or what you said. In fact, I belive the exact words were: "So fuckin' sue me GAO!"