Jaysus ... but this place is a den of iniquity!

It's all I can do, by wailin' into them with my walkin' stick, to keep the Girls of Banbridge and The Rollickin' Boys Around Tandragee from gettin' together and indulgin' in God know's what manner of carnal divilment!

If yez were to get on yer knees, ye bundle of haythins, and say yer beads, it'd be better for yez in the long run!