Has any of youse uns seen ar Van?

The wee shite's away aff on the tear with that Shane MacGowan character. A right gather-up if ever I seen one! I sez to him, Van, I sez, why don't you get yourself a nice sensible playmate like Daniel O'Donnell?

What's that Mrs Clannad? A cup of tay? I'd love one! Me oul' bake's like an Arab's sandal!

I'll not sit down. No, love. My oul River Niles are givin' me grief!