(SHANE Gives Sharon an affectionate squeeze of her ass as she makes her way off stage.) Sharon Corr, folks! Great girl, altogether!

Anyway … you'll know the tune of this next one. It's been used for "The Black Velvet Band". This is "The Drumcree Marching Band".

Near a neat little town they call Lurgan
There's a hell-hole they call Portydown
And many's an hour of dire misery
I spent in that miserable town
Till a streak of good fortune came over me
From then on me life it was grand
For they gave me a flute and a new shiny suit
And I joined the Drumcree Marching Band

CHORUS
Our flutes they shone like diamonds
Our drums could be heard 'cross the Bann
With our epaulettes perched on our shoulders
Here comes the Drumcree Marching Band

We attempted to walk up Garvaghy
The Commission said "Sorry that's banned"
And we said "You oul' shite. Sure we have the right
To walk any road in this land!"
But not one foot in front of another
On this road has the Orange since placed
And all of our shoutin' and bluster, boys
To me it appears just a waste!

CHORUS