"You might try a bottle of Lactaid on your next grocery list and shove it down his throat next time he goes for a glass of milk"

"I don't suppose you could blow him/her away.... "

"Why dont you stick one of Jez's whistles up his arse and start a new musical tradition "

"First get them in tune. Alum increases the pitch quite nicely while any grease or oil will lower the frequency. Get the cats together, have them play something like "Three Blind Mice" and take them on tour."

"If the cats are not musical I would suggest finding someone who is restoring an old house and needs the paint removed from the woodwork and/or walls."

Hold 'im down and put a pickle in it.

"I know of some who rub catnip on the thing liberally at bedtime, and the kitties are amused and then, after tiring out, settle down for the night."

Avast there! I think we're talking about a human being here.

:)

Ebbie