Speaker of the house: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this afternoon we would like to table an emergency debate concerning an illegal music festival in Portadown. Please raise your hand if you would like to make a point...ahh yes the chair recognizes the Minister for Education Mr. McGuinness.

Martin McGuiness: Mr.Speaker I just wanted to say that Mr.Paisley is writting things on my note book so he is.

Ian Paisley: That's a lie. I did not.

MG: Yes he did Mr.Speaker.

Speaker: What things?

MG: He wrote all taigs are horny bastards and Sinn Feinn/IRA are a bunch of hoors gets

Speaker: Did you write those things Mr. Paisley?

IP: I did not and I don't know what he's gettin' at so I don't.

Speaker: This is a serious accusation Mr. McGuinness how can you prove that it was Mr. Paisley that wrote these things.

MG: Because he signed his name under it. And then he wrote I love Eileen so I do and Ballymena for the cup.
Speaker:(groans) Order, order.