As someone once said, "I didn't know it was on fire when I laid down on it."

Saying we should not respond to the flamers and trolls is just part of the cycle that is working so ineffectively. At it's best it's hindsight. But when people make and implement decisions in present time. And at it's worst it ignores the reality that there is a continuum not only of viewpoints about this, but of the duration people have "been" here (ot anywhere online)....

To say "we" are going to agree to do something is to forget that in another five minutes someone will come along who has no idea what the problem is, what the underlying issues are, what the best approach is.... Or maybe they have been here for this or that time period, and they are still working through what they thnk about it all. They have a right, and I think an obligation, to figure that out as they go.

And so saying that people "oughtta" react to difficulties in any one way is to miss how people actually function here at the Mudcat. So it's a non-reality-based solution.

Also, it's magical thinking to think we can know what is in a person's heart whenever they post, much less when they post as GUEST. For example, there are Guest posts above that seem quite reasonable, well thought out, stated in a civil fashion. Are they sincere? I'd like to think so but really, we have no way of knowing. we have to take them as we take them, and act accordingly, and see what happens, and adjust over time if necessary, doing the best we can at every moment.

I't also magical thinking to think we can know what's in the heart of the people who post in an inflammatory manner. We are very good at labeling them, but we are only labeling the small slice of them that we can see, and we are doing it when we are upset. If we truly understood them, our responses to them (or lack thereof which is also a response) would be more accurately effective than they seem to be.

Rigid solutions for most things tend not to work well and to cause, instead, further rigidities that work less and less effectively. What seems to be effective in dealing with difficult things is for people to sort out the problems they have, whatever they are, in dealing with difficult things. That's the level at which personal responsibility can become flexible thinking, creative problem-solving, and effective action.

~Susan