It seems to me that your friend attempting to get a grant to transcribe Paddy's life work might have been perceived as opportunistic, especially if they had presumed Paddy would cooperate, and then didn't.

Friendly piece of advice, Jim. You have a very formal style of writing for a casual group like this. I don't know how regularly you participate in sessions, but the tone in one would be more like the guest's banter than your formal tone, if that is any help to you.

Also, you might want to be less thin-skinned, as someone else mentioned--the asbestos suit is worn by everyone I know who is a veteran of internet forums. And loosen up. What do you care what a complete stranger (whether anonymous or pseudonymous or known by their own name) thinks, really? Remember, this is ONLY the internet. Don't take it all so seriously.